Let's see if we understand this properly. The only chance Hamilton has of winning the 2010 F1 driver's crown is if Vettel, Webber and Alonso go all BTCC and knock 10 bells out of each other. Oh, and he needs to not crash/slide/nail his tyres and actually win.
Barring that, it's probably Alonso. Unless Vettel moves out the way for Webber. If Webber can keep it together. Or then again, it might be Vettel.
Despite a pedestrian start, this has been a most riveting year for F1. The Red Bulls nailed everyone in qualifying, then nailed each other; Ferrari went from crap to rather dandy. McLaren were good. Schumacher wasn't.
We've put together our favourite moments on the season so far in a handy gallery format. Refresh your memory as the Big F1 Truckers head to Abu Dhabi, where the streets are paved with gold - and don't forget our man will be reporting live on our F1 blog
Bahrain
Big news: Michael Schumacher came down from his Fortress of Solitude to race again. Everything looked exciting...
... until the race started. Alonso wins on his first outing for Ferrari - joining the likes of Fangio, Mansell and Raikkonnen - while Massa covers his rear end to round off a Ferrari 1-2.
Schu-roll: 6th
AustraliaHamilton delights fans with a burnout in his AMG outside the race but gets nailed by Webber in the race, twice. Later on the Aussie police will nail him too. Teammate Button is the first to change to slicks in a rain-sodden race to finish top of the pile. Excitement returns.
Schu-roll: 10th
MalaysiaIn what seemed an ominous harbringer of the season ahead, Red Bull finish 1-2 in qualifying and 1-2 in the race. Vettel 1st, Webber 2nd. They might still be BFFs at this stage, but all will change...
Schu-roll: retires after 9 laps
China
Red bull finish 1-2 in qualifying. McLaren finish 1-2 in the race. That's more like it. Button heads home Hamilton, while the crew at Toro Rosso are forced back into Engineering 101 to learn about 'wheel-nuts': Sebastien Buemi's front wheels both come off during practice. Like, totally off.
Schu-roll: 10th
Spain
Animal analogy time. The Bulls are dominant in qualifying, but the prancing horse splits them cleanly down the, erm, middle. Hamilton crashes on the penultimate lap due to 'rim' failure.
In other news, we learn that Alonso has insured his thumbs for £9 million. Just because.
Schu-roll: 4th
Monaco
Button goes up in smoke and retires as Webber leads from start to finish. Ickle Sebby comes home second while Hamilton finishes fifth. Webber looks a shoe-in for the title at this stage. And still smiling happily at little Seb.
Schu-roll: 12th, after penalty for illegal move on Thumbs.
Turkey
Hamilton is formally charged for his burnout in Oz. Heads angrily to the track and wins GP, with Button finishing off a McLaren 1-2. Meanwhile the Red Bull soap opera begins, as they go wheel-to-wheel and end up arse-over-wing. Fail. Relationship between the two begins to cool...
Schu-roll: 4th
CanadaHamilton back in the saddle with another win, installing himself as new favourite for the title. Button is right behind. Radios Lewis to ask if he can 'come second'. Lewis angrily says 'go on then'.
Schu-roll: 11th
Europe (Valencia)
Webber gets bored of 'racing', tries his hand at flying. Ramps up the back of Kovaleinen's Lotus and goes Aus-over-helmet as his RBR spins through the air. Vettel wins, and was in no way seen high-fiving Heikki later on. Hamilton second.
Schu-roll: 15th
Britain
Sebby cries and duly gets front wing destined for Webber's car. Webber yells 'strewth', wins GP, and then radios "not bad for a number two driver". Gets firework trapped in buttocks (above) as Red Bull civil war gets underway. Hamilton comes in 2nd, while Thumbs finishes 14th. Getting tight at the top.
Schu-roll: 9th
Germany
Alonso cries about having to 'race fair and square', and the Ferrari engineers radio Massa to get out of the way. Massa does. Alonso wins and gains around the same amount of points by which he currently leads the championship going into the last race. Just sayin'.
Schu-roll: 9th
Hungary
Seb leads from Pole, Webber gets squished aside by Thumbs, and Schumacher nearly kills Barrichello. Webber eventually finishes top after Sebby handed a drive-thru penalty.
Schu-roll: 11th
BelgiumVettel takes out Button on lap 15 ending the Briton's day and ruining his underwear - later handed a drive-through penalty. Alonso also out of the points, while Webber takes second. Hamilton leads from lights to flag.
Schu-roll: 7th
Italy
It's Thumbs vs Button as Nando starts his 'home' GP for Ferrari and attempts to duel with Button. Records the fast Ferrari home win by a debut team driver as Hamilton takes out Massa on a mistimed pass and records a DNF.
Schu-roll: 9th
Singapore
Singa-bore, for the most part. Then CRASH! Senna and Kobayashi take each other out, while Hamilton makes a move on Webber and fails. Then FIRE! Heikki's Lotus erupts into flames. Avoids death, puts out fire himself. Alonso wins.
Schu-roll: 13
JapanDestruction derby as Petrov and Hulkenberg make contact, Massa and Liuzzi come together, Kubica loses his rear wheel, and Hamilton loses third gear after crashing in practice. Vettel and Webber finish 1-2.
Schu-roll: handed 6th, after Rosberg crashed out at the S curves
Korea
Safety car makes an excellent start in the rain, followed by a pack of molly-coddled racers tucked into their cockpits. Safety car then makes a great series of turns, still followed by F1 cars, made another few turns, and then after fourteen hundred hours, decided it had had enough, and pitted. Then Webber crashed. Then Vettel's engine broke. Then Thumbs came top, followed by Hammy and 'Do Not Pass The Master'. A bizarre debut from the Koreans.
Schu-roll: 4th
Brazil
Hulkenberg pokes his head into the top flight with shock pole, gets squashed right back in after Sebby nails him on the first corner on the way to a fine win. Webber second, Alonso third, Hamilton fourth. Button nearly gets carjacked day before, finishes 5th. Red Bull take constructor's championship despite the continuing internal soap opera.
Schu-roll: 7th
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