It has been estimated by eminent boffins that the amount of time wasted in the TopGear office each year on random vehicular video amusement is roughly equivalent to April.
And so, in tribute, we've picked out the 20 clips that have pinged back and forth in our West London eyrie more than any other. They're all - obviously - amazing. Enjoy the lot, and if you have any suggestions for stuff we've missed, send them in to http://mce_host/tgweb@bbc.co.uk. We need more...
Gone In Seven Seconds
You spend months preparing your car for a ten-minute onslaught of the world's most revered racing circuit. You pack another human so he can film your exploits, which will scientifically establish you as a purveyor of Driving Awesomeness. You even pack a Snickers bar to quell any mid-corner oversteery hunger pangs. And then the moment finally comes... and goes in seven seconds.
Watch the YouTube clip
James May vs Ken Block
Ken Block's Gymkhana vids are some of the most epic on YouTube - epic at least, until TopGear went to California and filmed an even epic-er one. Captain Slow gets the ride of his life in ‘the royal box of rallying' with Kenny from the Block as he pays scant regard to airfield speed limits. And road layouts. And tyres. And intestinal configuration.
Watch the clip on YouTube
Super Michelin land
"It wos' the aliens wot' done it", would probably have been a more believable excuse for returning to your car and finding the rear windscreen smashed, than "an Indycar lost its tyre which bounced majestically into the air and totalled my windscreen". Tyres come off in racing, unfortunately. How this little tearaway got massive air however, is still in question...
Watch the clip on YouTube
The littlest hobo
Aww, look at the lil' fella...you almost wanna' take it home. After falling off an Aussie V8-powered super saloon mid-race, our intrepid hero manages to narrowly avoid carnage and rolls ever-so-politely down the side of the track. Where is it going? It's only got one thing in its sights...
Watch the clip on YouTube
Clarkson vs Ariel Atom
Fat? Middle-aged? Bank bonus straining your wallet? Well what you need is a big powerful sports bike right? Just think of the Imminent Death you can chuckle about with your friends. Or, if you fancy not being dead, JC has the solution: a car so fast it can destroy your face.
Watch the YouTube clip
Drift kid
Meet the world's coolest child. Check out the technique as she drift-parks her bike... turn-in, power-on, dab of oppo, smile cutely for camera. Who needs a handbrake when you've got talent like that? Someone give this girl a 370Z.
Watch the YouTube clip
Gambon's corner
Like Del Boy falling through the bar, or Emu attacking Parky, actor Michael Gambon's appearance on TopGear was a fine moment of comedy. After he assaulted Dunsfold's final corner with mentalistic extravagance, it only seemed right to name it after him.
Watch the YouTube clip
Cavalier attitude
So your new car has ABS and passenger airbags. To demonstrate this, you smash some up and replay the action in slow-mo to the sounds of 80s Europop. Fine. Then you screw sales with the tagline: 'The Vauxhall Cavalier. ABS and passenger airbag NOT on all models.' D'oh.
Watch the YouTube clip
Finns: barking
Fact: trees don't bend. They might sway in the wind, but when hit by a car-shaped missile they stay as rigid as scaffold poles. All of this is perfectly demonstrated by this fine collection of woody crashes from the masters of crashery - the flying Finns.
Watch the YouTube clip
Afro Clarkson
Back in 1991, Jeremy shared his hair with Tina Turner. It is perhaps the finest perm in history - a real disco special - especially when squidged into the rooflining of a Ferrari. There's a lock of JC's 'fro in the TopGear office, framed for eternity. Or for a fiver, it's yours.
Watch the YouTube clip
New TG US presenter Tanner Foust in Street Drift: Mulholland
Clarkson, May and Hammond may well have the on-screen chemistry to dominate the world’s television screens, but let’s face it: they can’t do this. After this week’s announcement that an American version of TopGear is to land this autumn, acquaint yourself with presenter Tanner Foust as he makes mincemeat of Mulholland’s mountainous curves.
Watch the clip on YouTube
Robust Anglo-Saxon + pace notes = headphones needed
Contained within this snippet of YouTube brilliance are the dulcet tones of co-driver Barry Meade, directing rally driver Jimmy Deane and his MkII Escort around Cork Forestry Rally back in August. We won't spoil the clip for you, but suffice to say the pace notes are both enthusiastic and DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK.
Read about the greatest co-driver ever, and watch the YouTube clip
Desert boots. With wheels
Everyone remembers a skateboarding Marty McFly grabbing a lift to school through judicious boot-grabbing. These guys in Saudi have clearly been watching Back To The Future on repeat for inspiration, but have added an awesome twist: rollerskates.
Watch the YouTube clips
Ken Block Gymkhana
We could have picked one of just about any of these Gymkhana videos, but let's settle for the original: Ken Block treating life like a Playstation game, and winning. Every time. Seeing if he can transfer the skills to the WRC is going to be one of the treats of this year.
Watch the YouTube clip
James Hunt swears at Monaco
Yes, you can hear radio communication now, and yes, you can get a driver's view, and yes, it's altogether easier to tell what the bloody hell's going on, but F1 TV coverage is still lacking something these days. Namely, a drunk James Hunt accompanied by a furiously back-tracking Murray Walker. Legend.
Watch the YouTube clip
Roll with it
Racing is pretty easy isn't it, let's be honest. As Gran Turismo creator/gaming deity Kazunori-san explained, you just have to remember your racing lines - slow into a corner, then accelerate hard as early as you can. And if you go for death-or-glory heroics in an attempt to do a Porsche, well, we did warn you...
Watch the clip on YouTube
SidewaysYou may not have noticed, but here at TopGear we enjoy being very much sideways. After all, where's the fun in going in a straight line? Fortunately for us, people actually practise going sideways. Like, for ages. This is an awesome eulogy to The Art of Cocking About in Cars... or drifting.
Watch the YouTube clip
Veyron vs McLaren F1If you're in any way made of man-stuff - like V8s, chainsaws and monster trucks - you'll probably have a small crisis watching this. Hammond, having clearly paid someone in authority lots of money, got to test drive two automotive giants back to back: the Bugatti Veyron vs the McLaren F1.
Watch the YouTube clip
Parallel universeThat's it - right a bit, left a bit, no wait, right again, le- oh, hang on. Clearly undaunted by the fact that THE PARKING SPACE IS TOO SMALL, this intrepid Italian lady - and we're not making any gender-based assumptions here - fails spectacularly to park in a side street. We particularly appreciate the ‘animated' Italian, which we can only assume translates as "I beg your pardon kind sir, but I appear to be in a spot of bother..."
Watch the YouTube clip
'Ring RotAhh the 70s - that heady decade where men could be men. Handlebar 'tashes and award-winning mullets, big juicy flares and riotous body odour. And what happens when proper men drive the legendary Nurburgring? Crashes happen. Lots of them. Watch and learn as the ‘Ring takes no prisoners.
Watch the YouTube clip
Sponsored By : CHAUDHRI ELECTRODE ENGINEERING. AL-MUQIT STEELS. Q.A.M INTERNATIONAL.
Manufacturing : welding electrodes, steel wirerope, wirerope, pvc cables, all sort of metal and hard ware tools.
Also trading in generators. load banks and all sort of metal.
Dealing in Real Estate (Turkey.Pakistan.Malaysia.Dubai)
For Contact: mustakeem@gmail.com Cell # +9(0531)9204077
Location : Istanbul / Lahore
'Ring RotAhh the 70s - that heady decade where men could be men. Handlebar 'tashes and award-winning mullets, big juicy flares and riotous body odour. And what happens when proper men drive the legendary Nurburgring? Crashes happen. Lots of them. Watch and learn as the ‘Ring takes no prisoners.
Watch the YouTube clip
Sponsored By : CHAUDHRI ELECTRODE ENGINEERING. AL-MUQIT STEELS. Q.A.M INTERNATIONAL.
Manufacturing : welding electrodes, steel wirerope, wirerope, pvc cables, all sort of metal and hard ware tools.
Also trading in generators. load banks and all sort of metal.
Dealing in Real Estate (Turkey.Pakistan.Malaysia.Dubai)
For Contact: mustakeem@gmail.com Cell # +9(0531)9204077
Location : Istanbul / Lahore
